Feelings, oooh-oh feeling

You're not very nice.

(Offspring- Feelings)

Human emotions are very strange. People overreact to little things that don't matter, they don't care about the things that do matter and that are important, and they are not nearly as emotional to events that are truly stressful.

I'm curious if people realize how much do they overreact to little things and that most people do the same (do tell me, please). I don't think so because no one seems to mention it and no one seems to care (while I get annoyed).

Introduction done. Now let's move to examples. With overreacting it's simple and obvious. I was sitting next to Andrea and I touched her tights with my shoes. She gasped and looked with anger at me. And she didn't even now if there was a stain. If there was, I might understand or at least ignore it, but she didn't know. Yet, she seemed honestly scared and stressed. Why? It's just a stain. Well, it's not, in this case, but you know.

Or my mom when she breaks a cup (or something like that. I can't remember any specific situation now). Yes, it sucks and yes, there is a reason to be angry and/or sad, but she makes a face like it's the end of the world. Also, her sobbing sounds so painful that it always scares me if I didn't know what happened. When I don't see her, but only hear her cries, I'm always worried that she cut herself or something much worse.

Another strange thing is emotions to material things. What I don't understand, for example, is why my friend was not willing to borrow me his festival bracelets. I understand a lot of things bring memories and you don't want them to be lost or damaged. That's perfectly fine! (Well, kind of...) The difference is that the chance of me losing them is tiny, because I would have them on my hand all the time. The chance of damaging them is negligible. And... And that's it. There is no good reason for him to not lend them to me except that he can't be without them for a few days, which is silly because I doubt he looks and touches them every day. On top of that, it's simply a thing. He won't lose the memories, he won't lose other things he brought from those festivals. If it was the last thing after his mother, I wouldn't even ask, but this was a festival bracelet.

No hard feelings, though. I don't understand any of those things, but I'm used to it by now and unlike others I don't care about the little things.

Then there are the situations where people should be way more stressed than they are. I know that in a way it's a coping mechanism, because in a really stressful situation you need to act quickly and be ready to solve the situation instead of worrying. Also, it makes sense that the reactions to really stressful events can not be proportional to the small events, otherwise a lot of people would just die, but still.

For example recently when I lost my driving license. I was stopped by the police and because I was driving from a festival, they decided to give me a drug test. And because I'm an idiot I didn't realize I smoked weed the day before, so they took my license on the spot. Yet, the whole thing took maybe 30 minutes or longer. During that time, Andrea seemed calm. Obviously she wasn't, but if she was worried as much as about her tights, she should probably pass out, because of stress about me paying a huge fine, losing my license and possibly even worse.

I know I'm sometimes to excited in a discussion (so it might even seem like an argument) and I understand some people think I'm aggressive, but how is it possible that even in a situation when I'm only raising my voice with no hint of aggression, people get scared? I'd say I'm passionate and excited, and it's not always true and I may seem aggressive sometimes, but when it really is true and I'm really calm (or let's say non-aggressive), but excited, people think it's personal and I'm going to hurt them. Or something like that, I don't really know. Just to explain, I was angry once for the past year and that happened for the first time after a few years, so don't worry. I just like arguing and sometimes provoking people to get angry.

It makes no sense, though. How can you be scared of me speaking loudly around other people, but not be scared of the creepy guy hitting on you?

Which is another thing, women always complain that men catcall them or worse, harass them, and I already wrote an article about it, but what I still don't understand is how can you complain about it, but then do nothing against it? Sometimes you even do exactly the opposite actually, talking and encouraging him, for example with smiling, when he's obviously interested, but you're not. How can you seem so passionate or even angry, when dismissing guys as pigs, but then don't show any of those emotions when in that situation?

It might seem like I'm talking only about women, but it's because they are in general more emotional and also simply because I have several examples ready in my mind. This applies to men as well. Even though possibly less.

And then there's the third situation in which people simply don't care. They don't want to know more about certain situations or events and even if they do, they just don't care.

Great contemporary example: immigrants in Europe (in US and rest of the world as well I guess, but it's a hot topic currently). People don't want them in their country, which I don't agree with, but ok. The problem is with the arguments they have. Let's try it with all of you.

What would you do? There is a war in your country and it is dangerous for you to live in the place you do. Maybe not all the time, maybe not now, but it is and it might get much worse. You're a woman with a husband and two kids. Would you send your husband to war with a very high chance of him being killed? Therefore, leaving your family without one parent. Not to mention the fact, you are still in danger.

Or would you rather risk leaving the country together, which might be dangerous, but at least there's a hope and not a small chance of having a better life.

And there are people who would say: I would send the husband to the war, it's his duty. I would stay in the country, I could never leave my hometown.

Similar example is the people who say they would never ever kill anyone. Hell no! You would! And there are heaps of situations where you would. The problem is not morality, „evilness“ or religion of others (as you might think). The problem is your own imagination. Right now I can imagine several situations where I would kill anyone without a problem. Sure, I'd feel bad afterward, but for saving the life of me, my friends or family, I would do it.

Not only I'm scared of people who would say they'd never do it, because I think they have much lower inhibition compared to people who at least admit there are situations like that, but I'm also scared of people who don't care that much about others that they simply say: „I could never kill anyone“ or „Of course I'd stay there and send my husband to war, where he would probably die while I wait with kids at home, where we might die too. Let's send those immigrants back.“ This is a complete lack of empathy, imagination, and close-mindedness. These people don't care that other people die, and they're not willing to sacrifice even one meal to help them. Yet, they deeply care when someone insults them or get angry when the bus driver leaves and doesn't open the door.

I'm not saying we should leave them in Europe by the way, nor that we should send them back. I'm not going to state my opinion because I don't have enough information. I'm just saying that people don't care about those topics nearly as much as they care about their cups, tights or personal belongings.

And there are so many examples of things, people simply don't worry about. Global warming, sexism, racism, wars, modern slavery that is not slavery, because it's economics and so on.

I'm not saying all people don't worry about it. All I'm saying is that the proportions are completely wrong.

How often and how much do you complain about spilled milk, broken cup, wounded toe, missed bus or annoying customer? How often do you talk about those things with others?

How often and how much do you complain about the unsustainable economic system, corruption in politics, unequal rights or education system?

How often do you talk about those things with others?

Does it make sense?

And now think about how you feel.

How do you feel about non-working internet connection, waiting in lines, rainy day or one hateful comment from a stranger?

How do you feel about the non-working education system, destroying the environment we live in or the unequal distribution of wealth (not only in western countries but in the whole world)?

Does it make sense?