Sex, Hobbit, Avengers and self improvement.

If this title won't work, I don't know what will


It's funny that people always assume they know the best, noone understands them and what's most important all the people think they're different
On the other hand, people always assume you're exactly like them.
Conclusion: people are exactly the same, they just don't want to admit.
Well... that was interesting, right?
Ok, second conclusion: I really am the best, because I'd never assume you're exactly like me.
Much better! :)

Now that I got rid of my usual egoism and partially my jokes, let's move on to the serious stuff.


Few days ago I was part of discusson about body weight. I am a slim person and I always have been. Even during the time I wasn't doing any sports I was underweighted.
I heard many times I should be careful, because it might not last and few people told me it was the same with them, but then during their twenties they gained a lot of weight and a bellly.
So far so good.
Funny thing is that this time I realized what's wrong. we talked about my body and one guy repeated the already mentioned opinion. The problem is in the way he said it. He didn't say it happened to him. He didn't say I should be careful and don't take it for granted. He said "It will happen to you too, just wait. I was like you few years ago."
This is wrong on so many levels it's unbelievable!

First of all, it's funny that he's sure it will happen to me. He just knows it. He doesn't consider that I might be exercising, he doesn't think that my body might really be different and I could stay thin forever. What's most troubling is a fact that he assumes I wouldn't do anything about it when it happens. I exercise, and I'm convinced  that I'll stay thin no matter what (I admit I might be wrong with this, but I don't think so), but even if both of the things are not true, I'd surely notice it and do something about it.
He completely ignores this obvious and simple option. Why? Because he's an idiot and he didn't do anything about it. One day he woke up, realized he has a belly and said "Well... that's interesting, I have a belly. I guess the people who told me it will happen were right. Ok, let's go have breakfast, shower and go to work. Damn! I hate those 8 hours of sitting. I'm glad that after work I can just lie down in front of a TV and do nothing."
I'm wrong with all these thoughts. I'm pretty sure that if he actually thought all this, he'd be horrified. Anyway the point is: he doesn't do anything to change his situation, so he immediately assumes it has to happen to everyone!

I really like this guy, he reminds me Els from Ettrick. She was truly a gold mine and I really appreciate her great thoughts and ideas.
Anyway, we also talked about back pain. I suffer from that, it's annoying, therefore I'm exercising every morning.
I said I have back pain and this guy said he has back pain too. I responded to that and the guy said he heard it's good to strenghten the ab muscles. Ignore the fact that for helping with back pain you should proably care mostly about exercises on the back and not the front of your body but fine. It goes hand in hand and you should do both, so I'll give him that.
Anyway, he said he tried doing some exercises, and then I told him I'm working out every morning too.
He answered: "Really? I wish I was like that. Good on you."

At this point I'm really tempted to give up! I have no idea why I even bother writing this blog. Sure, it's because it calms be down, but for god's sake are you really that stupid you can't even hear what you say?
He didn't use the exact words I wrote, but he really did say something similar with the exact meaning.
I don't know. Do I really need to explain what's wrong here?

Ignore the part where it's demented and insane and take a look at the last sentence. See that? He complimented me! He knows! For fuck's sake he knows I'm right, because he sincerely said I'm good for doing the exercise. How come he doesn't see the second part where he looks on himself?

All these things are actually silly, but there's something missing and that's a fact that people are lazy and unhappy.

I admit I do exactly the same mistakes above (I just don't say that on public, because why the hell should I?), I admit I'm lazy, I find excuses for not doing things I want and I also find one big excuse for doing this mindgames. And it is simple "I'm just not ready for it."
I know I criticised this thinking in the last article, and I admit I'm a hypocrite.

But there's one huge and important difference! I'm happy with myself! Well... almost, but I don't complain about myself, I don't hate myself for not doing things, I don't regret anything. Literally! I've made many mistakes during my life, many times I thought I was an idiot, but I'd never regret anything and I'd never feel  bad about my mistakes.
That is the reason why I can say I'm better than most people, because there are basically three kinds of people:
1. Lazy and unhappy about themselves, which seems to be the majority of people.
2. Lazy and happy with their situation. Basically the people who know they're idiots, but who try to do something about it.
3.  Hard working and happy. No explanation needed I guess.

The funniest part for me is the fact that the third group of people is admired! Everyone loves the hardworking people, because these are the people who make our lifes better. We admire these people, we want to be like them, yet we do absolutely nothing to be one of them.

You have all these preachers, advisors and couches who are telling you what to do with your life.
You listen to them, you feel encouraged, you feel excited about changing your life, but after some time you lose your confidence and passion and go back to normal. At this time you'll say these people started with better conditions. They had more money, nicer family. They travelled more, they had better education, they grew up in better country or they're simply just more dedicated, passionate or smarter than you, but that's all just genes and you can't change who you are. You're desperately trying to find any excuse for not doing things.

That's why I'm here! I'm here to tell you I feel exactly the same! I feel like everyone else is doing better, that everyone else had better condition they grew up in, and I envy the people who are doing something I'm not, but I want to.
I'm exactly like the majority of the people! I admit it and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not ashamed of saying I am lazy person, who finds excuses.
We're not different even in the point where we all agree we don't want to stay like this. I guess noone wants to be unhappy.

Difference is in the question: What are you going to do about it?

So in here I promise I'll be better! I'll be a better person.
I won't say I'll start work hard on myself, because I know I won't.
I won't say I'll be happy from now on, because I know it doesn't work like that.
And I definitely won't say that this article changes everything for me, because I know it won't.

What I'll say is this: I want to be happy. I want to be the best possible way of me. I want do a lot of things and I want to achieve some great things.
I'm sure I can. I have no idea if I will, but you can definitely check my progress in here.
There are millions of blogs with no real content. There are thousands of blogs with self-improvement. There are blogs written by or about hardworking and succesful people.
This a blog of one of those people. Except in the beginning of his journey!

There's no guarantee that I will be happy and succesful (in any way you want to think about succes), but I'm sure that if I describe my way of becoming this person, it might be interesting.
If I fail you'll learn a few things that you should do and more of the things you shouldn't.
If I succed you'll learn pretty much the same amount of things you should do, the same amount of things you shouldn't, but you'll definitely know one way of becoming happy.



At this moment you should feel excited and encouraged!
So now I'm going to ruin it.

I'm going to tell you one thing my dad just told me. He's almost sixty and we worked together today.
At one point he told me: "I'm old and stupid, so be patient with me."
I don't mind admit I'm stupid.
One day I'll surely admit I'm old.
And I did and I will ask people for patience with me.

But I never want to say it in way my dad did. I never want to say it in a way like there's nothing to do about it.
I'm not scared of dying. I'm not scared of losing illusions about the world. I'm not afraid of dying alone and unloved.
But I'm sure as hell scared of giving up on myself!
If I do that, if I admit who I am and I admit I can't be better, then please just kill me.