Break or breakup?

I decided that I'll start naming articles according to the content. We'll see how long it lasts.




This article will be fairly short. I just want to give you a small advice or at least something to think about. I want to suggest to people in romantic relationships to take breaks from their partners. I'm on one right now, and even though it annoys me (to say the least), I can still see its advantages.

Main reason is that you'll realize how much you miss that person, and even how much you need that person. Sure, the time on the break will be hard, but when you come back together you'll appreciate your partner much more. When me and Andrea saw each other after the first four months of separation, we were hugging for an hourm and during the next month we loved being close and we expressed our feelings often. Exactly the same thing happened after the second four months. How is it now? We love each other, we hug, we show our feelings, but it's far from being that intense. The last time I tried to stop Andrea in the middle of the street to give her a kiss and a hug, she started making fun of me, because we were teasing before. But we used to do that all the time after she  returned to Czech.
I can't say what will happen when she comes back now, but I'm pretty sure we'll be hugging the whole weekend.

Apart from missing each other emotionally, you'll realize how much you miss them mentally. I don't talk to anyone now that she's gone, and we can't speak properly with each other, because our time is limited. I have no one to make fun of and the time at home, which is usually full of fun, is now kind of boring. Being without Andrea made me appreciate what she does for me.

There's also the independence. If you're living with someone (and this applies to relationships in general), you can't fully comprehend how much the other person is doing for you (or you for them) or for the place you live in. There's only one obvious solution for this: living without them. During my gap year I had to take care of myself fully. All the money decisions were up to me. I was the one doing the shopping and cooking or doing laundry. If your partner is mostly cooking and buying food, you might not even know how much things are supposed to cost or how to make the meals you love. You'll learn something new for sure, because you'll be forced to clean, take care of pets or you might not have someone to explain you things for school.

Overall, the break will be unpleasant. If the opposite happens, which it could, you should take it as a red flag and start thinking about the whole relationships. If you feel better without that person, then why even be with them? Or more precisely, why be with them if the situation won't change? Either start working on making it better or end it.
Anyway, we expect the break to be something negative. But how do we learn? We learn from mistakes. Every negative experience can bring understanding or insight if you take the time to find it in there.

There are several reasons, why I would recommend the break. There are couples who do it, but not in the way I'd suggest. They breakup and then they get back together. This is definitely not what I'm suggesting, but it has some similar effects. In both situation you'll realize the relationship is worth pursuing. The difference is with the feelings it produces. In breakup there's a tension, so much tension that it destroys the relationship. And the tension might be even more severe after breaking up. The people might start seeing someone else, gossiping or bad-mouthing. All of this will obviously bring a lot of problems, if they decide to be together again.
In the voluntary break nothing like that happens, because it's a decision of both people.

There might be more reasons to try it, but the questions is how, right?
Like I said, it has to be voluntary decision of both people. The person who brings the idea has to make sure that it's not a breakup, it's not meant to be something bad, and that it doesn't they don't like each other.
Once this is clear you need to make some rules. This is very important, because for some it might mean they can see other people and be intimate with them. If that's what you both agreed on, then it's fine. Sometimes it can mean you won't be together, but you will talk, which is what I'm going through now. Another option is not seeing and talking to each other for certain time. These are the main things to think about, but again, all involved need to agree with the rules. Also, don't change the rules, preferably explain why you do it and what you expect from the whole experience.
I'd suggest that the longer the relationship the longer the break, but talk about it and see what works.

All this is meant primarily for romantic relationships, but the suggestion can be very helpful in others. Take a gap year, go for a long holiday with friends and let your family to take care of themselves. You'll be so excited to see them afterward, that it will make up for the lost time and the unpleasant feeling without them.

There are couples who say they can't live without each other. While that is kind of cute, it's actually quite scary, because you most likely won't die at the same. What are you going to do afterwards?
It's nice to have someone cloes to you, but that shouldn't mean that you lose your independence. Sooner or later something will happen. It might be a short time thing like holidays, something longer or permanent like debilitating disease, or even death, but no matter what happens you should be prepared to deal with it.
Take a break! You regularly take breaks from school, work and plenty other things.
Why not people?